One week ago was the 10 year anniversary of 9/11.
Who crashes planes into stuff? I was under the impression that the Japanese had played that out
Jihad is lame
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Home Movies make me nervous
I decided that i hate home movies. They scare the crap out of me.
This may sound a little morbid, well, it is a little morbid. But this is why i can't stand home movies.
When ever i see a kid in home movies, it reminds me of the clips they show on CNN of some kid who's just recently been abducted, or who's been found chopped up in a bunch of pieces, in a duffel bag on some ditch bank. This is obviously not something i want to happen to my kid, and i think if i don't video tape her, things will all work out.
How often do you sit down and watch home movies? Not very often, i'd be willing to bet. But Pictures, while not creepy at all, you can frame, and enjoy daily. so i say STOP WITH THE VIDEO CAMERAS! or you'll be watching that footage on Larry King Live, of Nancy Grace or some shit, HATING YOURSELF for not listening to me.
I realized this phenomenon yesterday, when Avery was showing me home videos of the Monterey Bay Aquarium, and it really creeped me out. i hate video cameras now. You should delete the videos of your kids, they are weird. stick with pictures.
This may sound a little morbid, well, it is a little morbid. But this is why i can't stand home movies.
When ever i see a kid in home movies, it reminds me of the clips they show on CNN of some kid who's just recently been abducted, or who's been found chopped up in a bunch of pieces, in a duffel bag on some ditch bank. This is obviously not something i want to happen to my kid, and i think if i don't video tape her, things will all work out.
How often do you sit down and watch home movies? Not very often, i'd be willing to bet. But Pictures, while not creepy at all, you can frame, and enjoy daily. so i say STOP WITH THE VIDEO CAMERAS! or you'll be watching that footage on Larry King Live, of Nancy Grace or some shit, HATING YOURSELF for not listening to me.
I realized this phenomenon yesterday, when Avery was showing me home videos of the Monterey Bay Aquarium, and it really creeped me out. i hate video cameras now. You should delete the videos of your kids, they are weird. stick with pictures.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
The Tax Man Cometh
I can't believe i'm not the only one on hold with the IRS!
you may note that i wrote this entry on April 14th, the day before tax day.
I feel like such an asshole. I have NEVER waited until the deadline to file taxes, EVER! for some reason this year i've been putting it off, and putting it off. "tomorrow, i'll do it" i kept telling myself, and celina. Well several tomorrows came and went, and here i am, like every other asshole.
i started doing these taxes in late january, but i couldn't find Ryans social security card, and celina seemed to know where it was the whole time. she told me where it was, and like an asshole i put it on her to get it for me. she kept telling me to do my taxes, and i kept telling her to get me the SSN.
and so we danced...
well, here i am like everyother dick head you'll see tonight on the news, only i won't be waiting in line at the post office. I'm wating in line on the fucking phone for an hour (and counting).
*right when i typed that, the lady for the IRS picked up, she was from tennesee, i asked.
taxes are complete, the man is off my back for another year
power to the people, and fuck, fuck fuck fffff-fuck the police
you may note that i wrote this entry on April 14th, the day before tax day.
I feel like such an asshole. I have NEVER waited until the deadline to file taxes, EVER! for some reason this year i've been putting it off, and putting it off. "tomorrow, i'll do it" i kept telling myself, and celina. Well several tomorrows came and went, and here i am, like every other asshole.
i started doing these taxes in late january, but i couldn't find Ryans social security card, and celina seemed to know where it was the whole time. she told me where it was, and like an asshole i put it on her to get it for me. she kept telling me to do my taxes, and i kept telling her to get me the SSN.
and so we danced...
well, here i am like everyother dick head you'll see tonight on the news, only i won't be waiting in line at the post office. I'm wating in line on the fucking phone for an hour (and counting).
*right when i typed that, the lady for the IRS picked up, she was from tennesee, i asked.
taxes are complete, the man is off my back for another year
power to the people, and fuck, fuck fuck fffff-fuck the police
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Bowling 101
When did i start sucking at bowling?
today, i got beat by a four year old girl at two games. that's 20 frames of rolling.
this is what i have learned:
#1) bumpers do not help me
#2) ryan likes to use the ball ramp
#3) under no circumstances shall i or anyone else for that matter, touch the ramp while she's aiming.
#4) do not get the lane next to the walkway to go behind the pins, or 4 year olds will most likely become curious as to the goings on back there.
when asked what she has to say about bowling, Ryan replied "I'm a good winner!"
that about says it all then doesn't it?
today, i got beat by a four year old girl at two games. that's 20 frames of rolling.
this is what i have learned:
#1) bumpers do not help me
#2) ryan likes to use the ball ramp
#3) under no circumstances shall i or anyone else for that matter, touch the ramp while she's aiming.
#4) do not get the lane next to the walkway to go behind the pins, or 4 year olds will most likely become curious as to the goings on back there.
when asked what she has to say about bowling, Ryan replied "I'm a good winner!"
that about says it all then doesn't it?
Monday, March 23, 2009
taco salad
taco salad is perhaps the best thing i can think of to eat.
i made some tonight and it was delicious.
the recipe is as follows:
-the better part of a head of Romaine Lettuce.
-a can of Olives
-a can of Kidney Beans
-a tub of Salsa
-about a 1/2 cup of 1000 island dressing
-a bunch of freshly grated cheese
-about a pound and a half of ground beef, or equivalent
-a bag of fritos
first things first, brown all of the beef.
then, wash lettuce, and cut it up to desired size... put it in a big mixing bowl.
throw in the beef, beans, olives, salsa, salad dressing, cheese, and about 3/4 of a bag*** of Fritos.
put your hands in there and mix it all up.
put some of that shit on a plate, and eat it.
***save the remaining fritos for tomorrow. the ones that are in the salad will get all soggy over night, and you'll want crunchy ones when you eat the left overs.
make this tonight, and you'll probably eat so much you'll barf.
ps: you're welcome
i made some tonight and it was delicious.
the recipe is as follows:
-the better part of a head of Romaine Lettuce.
-a can of Olives
-a can of Kidney Beans
-a tub of Salsa
-about a 1/2 cup of 1000 island dressing
-a bunch of freshly grated cheese
-about a pound and a half of ground beef, or equivalent
-a bag of fritos
first things first, brown all of the beef.
then, wash lettuce, and cut it up to desired size... put it in a big mixing bowl.
throw in the beef, beans, olives, salsa, salad dressing, cheese, and about 3/4 of a bag*** of Fritos.
put your hands in there and mix it all up.
put some of that shit on a plate, and eat it.
***save the remaining fritos for tomorrow. the ones that are in the salad will get all soggy over night, and you'll want crunchy ones when you eat the left overs.
make this tonight, and you'll probably eat so much you'll barf.
ps: you're welcome
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
tacos make her happy.
nothing makes celina happier than tacos.
i try to make them at least once a week for her.
they are pretty basic, but i've perfected the spices.
i've gotten the ingredients down to a fine science.
i don't use corn tortillas as much as i'd like to.
celina likes to have those fried, and i don't like to dirty another pan.
so flour it is.
the three secret ingredients are: Sriracha sauce, romaine lettuce (rinsed, and then chopped- just before serving), and SHARP cheddar, it has to be SHARP!
celina likes a lot of cheese.
i try to make them at least once a week for her.
they are pretty basic, but i've perfected the spices.
i've gotten the ingredients down to a fine science.
i don't use corn tortillas as much as i'd like to.
celina likes to have those fried, and i don't like to dirty another pan.
so flour it is.
the three secret ingredients are: Sriracha sauce, romaine lettuce (rinsed, and then chopped- just before serving), and SHARP cheddar, it has to be SHARP!
celina likes a lot of cheese.
Canadian Water Foul
Stupid Canadian Geese.
I was at work the other day, at a cheese plant that is currently under construction. There is a big ponding basin on the property there for run off and all your basic water storage needs. Lately, there are two new residents of said pond, which happen to be Canadian Geese. oh, how beautiful and majestic they are not. These birds are fucking jerks... one of them in particular. He doesn't have a name as far as i know, so i'll just call him wayne.
Wayne is obviously not concerned with time constraints, and is in no way interested in my production.
Here's a quick run down: we are in the midst of unloading several air handlers and big ass fans (about 1000 each, for the small ones). These are not HUGE, and there's nothing really special about them, it's just that you can't set them in the dirt. I was on a mission to get some 4x4's to set them on.
This is about the time i met Wayne, who is a dick, and his pal who shall remain nameless.
Wayne and his buddy are waddling along, as is a gooses nature, without a care in the world. They are not in a god damned park, they are on a big job site. there are tractors, Semi-Trucks, and cranes, everywhere. Wanting to avoid these two geese that were cruising in front of me at about 1 mph, i honk the horn in my truck to hopefully scare them out of harms way.
Needless to say, this plan backfired.
That asshole 'wayne' stopped, turned around, open his disgusting gullet, produced a long, skinny black tongue and hissed at me like i was the asshole. Here i was looking out for these mother fuckers and he has the nerve to HISS!?
"FUCK YOU! YOU ASSHOLE DUCK!" i screamed. As i threw the truck into 1st and dropped the clutch, these two retards decided it was a good time to get movin'. So, i chased them around in the rocks for a while. Eventually they took flight, though not very gracefully. They more of less flapped and ran. Honking and carrying on the whole damn time.
i intend on smashing these jerk offs.
I was at work the other day, at a cheese plant that is currently under construction. There is a big ponding basin on the property there for run off and all your basic water storage needs. Lately, there are two new residents of said pond, which happen to be Canadian Geese. oh, how beautiful and majestic they are not. These birds are fucking jerks... one of them in particular. He doesn't have a name as far as i know, so i'll just call him wayne.
Wayne is obviously not concerned with time constraints, and is in no way interested in my production.
Here's a quick run down: we are in the midst of unloading several air handlers and big ass fans (about 1000 each, for the small ones). These are not HUGE, and there's nothing really special about them, it's just that you can't set them in the dirt. I was on a mission to get some 4x4's to set them on.
This is about the time i met Wayne, who is a dick, and his pal who shall remain nameless.
Wayne and his buddy are waddling along, as is a gooses nature, without a care in the world. They are not in a god damned park, they are on a big job site. there are tractors, Semi-Trucks, and cranes, everywhere. Wanting to avoid these two geese that were cruising in front of me at about 1 mph, i honk the horn in my truck to hopefully scare them out of harms way.
Needless to say, this plan backfired.
That asshole 'wayne' stopped, turned around, open his disgusting gullet, produced a long, skinny black tongue and hissed at me like i was the asshole. Here i was looking out for these mother fuckers and he has the nerve to HISS!?
"FUCK YOU! YOU ASSHOLE DUCK!" i screamed. As i threw the truck into 1st and dropped the clutch, these two retards decided it was a good time to get movin'. So, i chased them around in the rocks for a while. Eventually they took flight, though not very gracefully. They more of less flapped and ran. Honking and carrying on the whole damn time.
i intend on smashing these jerk offs.
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